What is ‘home’?

Sometimes you arrive in a place and you simply know it is home, you feel it somewhere inside, you can’t explain it. For some people it is Paris, the first glimpse of the Eiffel tower, the lights sparkling on a winter evening, for others it is the bustle of India, the vibrant colours, the atmosphere, and for others, the beaches of Spain, the delicious food and the summer nights that never end. That is how I felt arriving in Vienna for the first time. I was 19, and I arrived to study German for three months. I didn’t know a word of German, except perhaps ja and nein, nor did I really know anything about Vienna or even Austria at all, although I think somehow I already knew I would fall in love with the city.

Vienna Schonbrunn

The driver started the car and we slowly drove out from the airport. It was then that I knew this was a place that really resonated with me, even though all I could see was the highway stretching before me, the industrialised surrounding areas, nothing of beauty. I arrived finally at my new apartment above a bakery -I can’t remember which district it was now- where I was to live with six or so other German language students. The landlady opened the door and asked me if I spoke German, which I didn’t, her brief explanation to me about the workings of the house were the only English words she would speak to me for the remained of my time there. The apartment was fine, a perfect student hangout with great housemates from around the world, and with the added bonus of free bread and pastries every evening from the bakery downstairs. There are so many things I love about Austria: the beauty of the cities and of the surrounding nature, the mountains, the delicious wintery food, the fact that the amazing opera singer Anna Netrebko is just as famous as a movie star (or terrible reality TV star), the ball season, the amazing music made accessible to everyone in Vienna, drinking wine in a Heurigen with friends. But it wasen’t these things that connected me to the city. It was something else.

Vienna 2003

With my housemates in Vienna back in 2003

I feel a similar connection to Melbourne (I loved it so much I had my parents send me to boarding school there), and I didn’t feel it when I lived in London, or in the various other cities I have lived in Australia. Somehow I know I will feel at home in the same way when I finally make it to Switzerland. I have lived in both Melbourne and Vienna on and off over the last 10 years, and the sense of happiness I feel in both cities has never dulled, which makes me realise it is not just a feeling of happiness one inevitably experiences during a fun extended holiday or student exchange. The feeling remains somehow, even when life is not going well all of the time.

Recently a friend of mine asked what my link to Sweden was – and I realised, while I really enjoy living in Sweden, I especially love the language, and have some very good Swedish friends, my link is fairly weak. Sweden does not feel like home to me, in the same way Vienna and Melbourne do. I enjoy living in Stockholm, it is a beautiful city, I loved studying in Uppsala, but for me, there is something missing, despite nothing being wrong. And yet I know people who hate Vienna and love London and Stockholm.

The reason I loved Vienna before I even really saw it is really just a personal connection that is impossible to really explain or understand. Of feeling at home somewhere, even if you are not born there. A sense of belonging.

6 Responses to “What is ‘home’?”

  1. Michelle, I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same about Melbourne (my home town), and like you, I never felt it about London. I did feel it about a little village called Les Allues, yet I chose to live a few hours away in a different ski resort. Why? Practicality really, but every time I go back there I get this lovely warm feeling. It’s definitely ‘home’. A Swedish friend calls Uppsala home, and it was lovely to visit there earlier this year (but tooooooo cold!).

    • Michelle says:

      Welcome Wendy!
      Les Allues looks beautiful from my google image search. I’d love to live in a little ski village one day. What are you doing there?

  2. melissa says:

    I know what you’re talking about. The first time I went to Paris I was 17 and I remember having just arrived from the States jet lagged, standing on the balcony of our hotel room looking at the view and having this overwhelming feeling that I’d been here before. I didn’t speak a word of French but the language barrier didn’t diminish the feeling that I was home.

    Perhaps in a previous life, if you believe that stuff, you were Austrian 🙂
    x M

    • Michelle says:

      I can understand your love for Paris, Melissa. It is such a beautiful city.

      Sometimes I have to wonder about a past life… how can you become so attached to a place so quickly without something like that going on? You never know!

  3. Jeremy says:

    It’s funny. Coming back to Melbourne after a long time away, it really does feel like home. I don’t think I understood that the first few times I lived overseas (in my childhood), but it certainly helped make subsequent travels easier – knowing that I always had home to come back to.

    Having said that, I did find London felt like home, from the moment I first arrived as a backpacker, to when we moved there – there was an immediate feeling upon getting off the plane, even just onto the tube, that was comforting – impossible to put into words at that point. But it just felt like I belonged, and the city just clicked. Sure there’s a lot not to like, but they didn’t seem to get in the way of the enjoyment, the buzz, that I felt whenever I arrived.

    It’s the returning somewhere and feeling at home too that is important. I still feel at home in Bangkok – 16 years after leaving. It’s just one of those things.

    I realise the point – it’s going to be very similar for many people, just change the name of the city. There’s perhaps no real rhyme or reason to it, but it’s something that we all seem to experience, to our advantage. I feel sad for those who don’t want to let something like that happen, who don’t want to experience it.

    • Michelle says:

      Hi Jeremy, I never knew you lived in Bangkok! I think we are really lucky to have more than one place that feels like home to us, but I think you are right, part of it is taking the jump and allowing the experience to happen.

      Anyway, I’m looking forward to seeing you and Erin again next year.

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